Waiter? There's Tiger Urine on My Ass

When an American thinks "Chinese food" they instantly conjure up such lyrically-named dishes like Crab Rangoon, Kung Pao Shrimp, and General Gau's Chicken. But we often forget about the more indigenous chefs of Chinese cuisine who, like redneck chefs of Asia, seem to find an epicurian taste for critters most folks try to keep out of their food.

To their defense, many of these foodstuffs double as tonics, tinctures, restoratives, analeptics, elixirs, and other such remedies to extend and enhance their lives. Unfortunately, many of these traditional recipes contain illegal ingredients from endangered species like rhinocerous, gorilla and tiger.

So you can imagine the anger and disappointment of the regulars at the Hufulou restaurant near Hailin, China when they learned their favorite tiger meat stir-fry place was being shut down for selling the illegal delicacy. Now where would they get their tiger-bone liquor?

Then came the good news.
Or perhaps it was bad news.

Either way, due to a technicality, the Hufulou would not have to close its doors as they had not been serving tiger meat after all. In fact, their specialty house dish of Stir-Fried Tiger Meat with Chilies (at $98 in Yankee greenback) was actually donkey meat flavored with tiger urine "for that special tang."

Despite that donkey meat is quite legal in China, the Hufulou's proprietor Ma Shikun was fined $296 for, what can only be assumed, false advertising.

While tiger meat is thought to enhance strength and virility, apparently donkey meat just makes you more of an ass.

Read it here, Grasshopper