Need a Bigger G-String

In case you thought all those stuffed-suit, over-tanned, arrogant stock-traders were little more than Ward Cleavers with cell-phones and Blackberrys and a thirst for filthy lucre, prepare to be suprised.

The Wall Street Journal reported some improper use of company and client money by a number of employees and management when a rather lavish bachelor party was thrown for Thomas H. Bruderman Jr. in Miami Beach. Entertainment included a yacht cruise, VIP status at the chic Delano Hotel resort, and entertainment that included a dwarf and two women who may have been prostitutes.

In all fairness, there was no proof that the two women accompanying the dwarf to a bohemian bachelor party thrown by what were essentially adult frat-boys with an endless supply of cash were actually prostitutes. They may have been lion tamers who had foolishly forgot their lions or harpers providing soothing Baroque canons to accompany the evenings festivities.

The story goes on to condemn the inappropriate behavior and suggest how the constituents will be reprimanded but it's nothing we haven't heard before and chances are these chintzy, maliciously decadent motherfuckers will get away with their various infidelities and will live to do it again.

The real story here is: what role did the dwarf play?