End of World Imminent

A two-faced cat and six-legged puppy with two peters were reported recently, imminent signs of the coming of the apocalypse and suggesting perhaps we have not been heeding the messages found in window condensation, potato chips, or water stains.

The two-faced cat - complete with two mouths, two tongues, two noses and four eyes - is named Gemini and despite it's 10% chance of survival, owner and breeder Lee Bluetear of Roseburg, Oregon still maintains hope. "If she makes it, she should be a perfectly normal and healthy cat. Other than having two faces."

Meanwhile, halfway around the world, an angry and wrathful god delivered unto the Kwang Sung Temple in Port Klang, Malaysia a six-legged puppy with two penises. The temple caretaker found it on the temple steps one morning and realized its multiple appendages when he tried to pick it up. Apparently unaware of this fateful omen, the locals have adopted the puppy and, being that most Malaysians are huge Amy Grant fans, named it Ong Fatt or Lucky One." Nothing has been reported on the dog's level of happiness.

While these two incidents alone are not necessarily portentous regarding the coming of the Antichrist, but we here at the Spittoon say you can never be too careful when it comes to the apocalypse. If it's going to be raining toads, I want to be prepared.

Article from boston.com


Artcile from thestar.com