You can lick your wounds, and you can lick your friends...

34 year old Scott Reed, an innovative football coach at Central Linn High School near Eugene, Oregon, introduced an alternative approach to first aid on the field when he began licking the wounds of his injured players. Now I know, it sounds a little "kooky", but when you think about it, animals in the wild lick their wounds all the time... and when you think about it a little more, you realize that animals also lick their assholes ...and their friends assholes ...heck, my dog will lick the asshole of every dog he met if he had a chance.

OK, so maybe that is a bad example. But isn't it time that our public schools taught alternate first aid theories side by side with those accepted by the scientific community? Here at the Picayune, we say let the kids decide for themselves!

Lick up this important news item at MSNBC