Psychotic Canadian Nutbag Slips Over Border

So, riddle me this...

You are a customs officer stationed at the border between US and Canada and in comes a young man who looks like a quality-tester for crystal-meth wearing a blood-stained sweatshirt over a bullet-proof vest, carrying a bloody chainsaw and toting a backpack containing home-made swords, a knife, brass knuckles, and pepper spray and all he wants to gain access to the good ole US of A.

What do you do?
A: turn the suspect away
B: detain the suspect until proper authorities arrive to investigate the individual
C: give him coffee and cookies and send him over the border

If you picked "C" then congratulations! You are a viable candidate for a job as a customs official at the Canadian border.

A long standing feud between 22 year-old Minto resident Gregory Allan Despres and his neighbors - Frederick Fulton, 74, and his wife Veronica Decarie, 70 - ended tragically at the hands of Despres who stabbed them to death(see previous news entry: WARNING: KNIVES HURT) in their home and decapitated Fulton with the aforementioned chainsaw. It was a busy morning.

"Nobody asked us to detain him," said Bill Anthony, a spokesman for U.S. Customs and Border Protection. "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up."

While such a large cache of weaponry and circumstantial evidence would raise a few red flags here in America, especially since he was already considered at-large for skipping a sentencing hearing, apparently the custom agents have gotten a little soft over the years and felt a deranged freak-job like Despres was of little threat.

But don't let this incident make you think that the guards posted at these points aren't doing their job. After all, 38 year-old Eddie Young was detained at the same office with Despres and watched the custom officials playing with Despres weapons and serve him a cup of coffee before letting him go.

Young, who was on his way to catch a flight to Mexico with friends, was being detained and processed after officials noted a 20 year-old drug conviction in Ottawa on his recored. "He got processed faster than I did." Young noted.

To their credit, the customs officers did confiscate the weapons.

Despres comes from a long-line of sadomasochistic chainsaw-wielding nutjobs. It was reported that Despres' own father had a hankering for the nose candy and engaged in some redecorating a la "Tommy Lee in a hotel-room."

Despres was arrested in Massachusetts.

(Note: it is common for us here at the Spittoon to include an accompanying photo to the story. As you may have noticed, these photos are sometimes "altered" to suit our needs. However, we felt that no alterations were necessary for the mugshot of Mr. Despres. He's a natural.)

Original article from canada.com